Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts
Showing posts with label twins. Show all posts

Monday, 11 March 2013

The Good, The Sad, and The Grubby

So it's been Mothers' Day here... and what does that mean?  Chance to be thankful for all that our mothers have done and do for us... and chance for those of us who have children, to enjoy, in whatever form it comes, their thanks.

I imagine that there have been treats-a-plenty across the land.  I am guessing, also, that there will have been varying levels of anti-climax, and for some, much sadness too.

The sadness thing in particular strikes a chord with me... I thought of several who have lost children and/or mothers, and hope that each of these friends of mine found their way through the day, despite their sadness.

For anyone interested, here are some snapshots of our day....

I had a lie-in until almost lunchtime!  I was awake long before then, but made the most of the opportunity to laze in bed...bliss!

My giggling brood brought me breakfast, or should that be brunch, in bed, and eagerly handed me their gifts with so much pride and enthusiasm that I couldn't help but smile.
There were some chocolates....




Which not-so-mysteriously quickly disappeared....






And some sweet peas, which the twins were more than happy to help me plant, and is the reason that they had an un-planned "swim" in the bath....




We also went to the Church.  The twins wished Polly, Granny & Grandad a happy anniversary (!) and I wished my Mum a happy Mothers' Day, and hoped that she wouldn't mind sharing her flowers with Polly and my Dad, too.

It was a lovely day.  I know that despite the sadness that was felt and carefully "filed", I am very, very fortunate.

I hope everyone reading this had a good day, too... Katie x

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

Season Of Goodwill; Our Experience Of Goodwill

I've heard it said a number of times during the last few days that the "Season Of Goodwill" is nearly here.  It prompted me, tonight, to ask a couple of well-known internet search engines when exactly this season is.  Not coming up with a definitive answer, I have concluded that ultimately, this just refers to Christmas.

It's a shame, in a way, this title.  Does it mean that goodwill and human kindness does not exist for the rest of the year, then?  I have been a fortunate recipient of "goodwill" many times throughout my life... from smaller random acts of kindness (a stranger picking up a dropped unnoticed toy, for example), that occur often, to some more specific huge, unprompted and incredible acts of goodwill.

It's our main experience of goodwill, an overwhelming and unexpected experience, that I am writing about today.  One which goes to prove, I think, that there is no such thing as a "season" of kindness,  but proves beyond any shadow of doubt that human kindness exists at all times of the year...and for which I, and my family were, and still remain, very, very grateful.

I'm going to write this post in parts.  The first, is I suppose, to give a bit of background behind this particular story.

In February 2010, our beautiful little girl, Polly, was stillborn.  The days which followed her birth were a haze of immense and all-consuming grief.  A week to the day later, I decided to follow brave Andy's lead, and step outside our front door for the first time, to go with him to collect the twins from their morning at nursery.

As we made the short journey to nursery, we had a brief conversation of how we should try to focus on the positives and the good things around us, which obviously mainly involved the twins.  We decided we would spend the summer with my Dad, who we all enjoyed spending time with, and who had been a huge and very vital support to us during the last few weeks of our pregnancy with Polly in particular. He had looked after the twins overnight for their first ever night away from us, when Polly had been born.

Fate/life, as it happens, had other ideas.  As we arrived back home with the twins, our 'phone was ringing.  My Dad had been taken to hospital & was seriously unwell.  We needed to go there immediately.  Andy's amazing Sister and Niece arrived, along with my wonderful best friend, and we were reassured that they'd look after the twins.

We were sent, with many hugs and kisses, on our 20 mile journey to Hereford, with sandwiches they'd prepared and a bottle of wine and a couple of plastic beakers.  We ate the sandwiches en route, somehow, and drank the wine later on that evening...after we'd been to the hospital where a heavily pregnant doctor (the irony was not lost) confirmed what I'd known the moment we'd received the phonecall - my Dad could not be saved.  He died, shortly after we arrived at the hospital.

It's difficult to put into words how heartbroken we were.  At the best of times, Dad's death would've been devastating.  But just a week after losing our little girl, and his death being completely unexpected, was beyond anything I could comprehend.   Their funerals were held in our village Church 2 days apart - same time, same grave.

It took a while, after that, to gain the courage once again to face the "real world".  We stayed at my Dad's house, with my brother, and huddled together, focusing only on getting through each day; each hour at times.

I started to think, a couple of weeks later, about sorting through some of my parents' things (my Dad had kept most of Mum's possessions from when she died, right down to her shoes, which remained by the back door, as though he had always been waiting, expecting her to come home.) It become a project, a new focus; I would bring boxes over from our home to Dad's, and sort through a few of his & Mum's things at the same time.  We'd planned to move in properly over the course of several weeks, but finding a much-needed purpose, I started making the round-trips, bringing over our possessions, as often as possible, sometimes a couple of times a day.  We were living and basing ourselves at my Dad's house, and with the exception of larger items which wouldn't fit in my car, things we didn't use at all, and the baby things which were purposefully left in our house as I couldn't face them, we had pretty much moved in.

Some 6 weeks or so later, Andy went away for the weekend.  He'd been nervous to go, anxious to leave us, but I reassured him that we'd be fine.  And we were.... to start off with.  The weather was hot and sunny, and I took photo's of the twins playing in the garden.  I felt, for the first time since Polly and Dad had died, some genuine optimism about the future.

What I didn't realise, but that two forensic teams later concurred, was that as I took the photo below of the twins eating their tea in the garden that night,  a fire had started at the side of the house.



It wasn't a small fire; it would've started that way, but very quickly became a huge one.  My Dad's home - our new home - was turned from this:


To this:

                                          Downstairs



                                         Upstairs



To be continued in a couple of days.....(please, don't be disheartened; this is, I promise, an incredibly positive story, and what followed next, in terms of the response from family and friends around us, completely blew us away - still does to this day).



Friday, 26 October 2012

The Twins - Their School Journey So Far

We're nearing the end of the first half term holiday for the twins, and of course it's been a time to reflect over their first half term of going to school.


Despite reading Actually Mummy's hilarious and very sound advice for parents of new school-starters, we did of course ignore said tips and advice and do our own thing anyway.

In the first few weeks we had fraught mornings, twin ankle-clinging at school drop-off, and some pretty hideous over-tired evenings.  By about 3 weeks in, things started to gradually change, and very slowly the fact that the twins were now school-children started to feel more natural, as the children got used to their new routines, and we ours.  And now, some 6 weeks down the line, it feels as though they've been going to school forever.

I am so impressed to find that both of them seem to love school as much as the other - this may sound odd, but they are very different in terms of personality and how they learn.  L loves to concentrate on a project, and to really feel as though she is doing "real work" (her words, not mine!), yet is surprisingly shy and anxious around other children.  H on the other hand, is a total social charmer, but finds concentrating for long periods of time (erm, meal-times, getting dressed, etc!) difficult, and is kept engaged through being captivated and interested in whatever is going on. School has managed to keep my chalk and cheese pair equally enthusiastic and excited about learning - and happy, too.

I won't be so naive as to say, or even think, that we have school sussed, because one thing I do know is that when it comes to parenting, every time you think you have something "in the bag", either the children or life moves the goalposts...but I am pleased and relieved at how well my "babies" have settled in so far.

Oh, and a few other reasons why I know we're all settled into school....

1. The pristine "new uniform just out of the packet" look has long gone.  The twins arrive to school in the mornings looking less out of a packet, more out of a hedge.

2. Every single one of their white polo tops now has some kind of stain on it, whether it be pen or paint or grass.  But it's Autumn; they have jumpers/cardigans, so that's ok!

3. I have worked out, on the days I do the school pick-ups, that if Mr Bloom's Nursery finishes on CBeebies and Baby M and I are still at home, we'll have to sprint to collect the twins on time.  If Mr Bloom is still on when we leave then we have enough time for a nice leisurely walk....

4. Talking of walks, the twins now appear to know the names of almost every primary-school aged child in our village, and as such taking a short walk to the shop is now impossible.  We've long had to stop and chat to every grown-up we meet, and now this is extended to every to every child we meet too.  Or at the very least, we yell hello..all at foghorn volume, and in stereo, naturally.

5. The children, for the first time, understand the concept of a weekend, and that a weekend means family time.  As much as they love going to school, they also look forward to & get excited about weekends.  So, if I'm honest, do I.



Thursday, 30 August 2012

School Uniform - "Here's One I Made Earlier"


Our twins L (girl) and H (boy) are starting school next week.  It’s a very exciting time for us all.

L has all her uniform hanging neatly in her wardrobe, shoes polished & various co-ordinating hairbands arranged (and re-arranged on an almost daily basis) on her bedside table.

But H..well, we’ve had a bit of a problem.  I can confidently say that he has tried on every potential pair of trousers in every single shop in town.  Unlike his sister, he is small in stature, and has the added problem of having no hips or bottom.  Well he does, but for the purposes of trousers, they are too small to do the job that nature intended.
 
Trousers aimed for the “average” 2 year old which take into account a lack of hips are far too short.  Trousers aimed for the “average” 3 year old are both too long (nothing wonder-web wouldn’t fix though) and also look ridiculously big in the bottom/front. He looks, if I’m honest, like a miniature clown in them. 

There are just six days left until they start school.  And unless H grows the parts of his body required to fit into school trousers properly between now and then, I am tempted to resort to what I can do best – dig out some coloured paper, crayons & sticky tape, and fashion some sort of garment for him from those.  Sequins, pipe-cleaners & googly eyes optional.